Disappointment

I’ve been contemplating disappointment for some time and since I experienced disappointment yesterday that resulted in no plans for today, I thought it was time to explore the subject.

I think that most days we experience some sort of disappointment.  It could be as trivial as my toast didn’t come out of the toaster just the way I like it, or it could be a monumental disappointment.

I asked ChatGPT to define disappointment.  Here was the answer: the feeling of sadness, dissatisfaction or frustration you experience when something you hoped for or expected doesn’t happen or isn’t as good as you expected.

Then I asked ChatGPT the synonyms for disappointment.  Here is the list:  letdown, dissatisfaction, disillusionment, frustration, regret, discouragement, displeasure, despondency, disenchantment, heartbreak. 

The next questions to ChatGPT were, what would be the word for a slight disappointment and what would be the word for a major disappointment.  For a slight disappointment, the answer was letdown, disenchantment, dissatisfaction, regret, frustration, anticlimax or displeasure.  For a major disappointment, the answer was devastation, heartbreak, disillusionment, despair, disheartenment, betrayal, agony or crestfallen.  These answers seemed reasonable to me and entailed various levels of emotional involvement.

Now that we have defined disappointment, what do we do with it?  Some disappointments are easy to shake off and are the ordinary course of the day.  We respond with: “oh well, next time will be better”, “I should have expected that result”, I can do it again later,” “if I make this change, it would help”, etc.  But, there are some disappointments that are more than just a disappointment; they can be life changing events.   What can we learn from God’s word about disappointment.

I did a word search in the NIV, KJV, NKJV, ESV and NASB and could not find anything for “disappointment”.   The AMP (Amplified Bible) gave me two hits that weren’t what I was looking for.  The TLB (Living Bible) gave me two different hits that were closer to what I was looking for but not really what I wanted.  The NLT (New Living Translation also gave me 2 hits.  The Message gave me three hits which was surprising to me.  I expected more.   I could spend all day looking up all the synonyms and still not get what I’m looking for. 

A few of my life principles apply to how I deal with disappointment:

(1)   Live by faith (what we know to be true about God) and not by sight (feelings, circumstances, emotions, etc).

·       God loves us and cares about us. I Peter 5:7 casting all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you.  This is part of a larger passage of verses 6-11 that is about suffering but it shows that God loves and cares for us. 

·       Proverbs 16:9  The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.   This was what I experienced yesterday.  I tend to make plans and expect God to put a stop to them if they are not the right plans.  I don’t know if this is the right approach to living life or not.  Either I don’t stay still enough to hear an answer from God about my plans or I don’t usually get a direct answer.  So, I made plans for an 11 day trip and proceeded to leave.  About 2 ½ hours into the trip I started experiencing an electrical issue with my van so I turned around and came home.  Why did God put a stop to that plan?  I don’t know.  Was He protecting me from something?  Was the timing wrong?  Am I not supposed to make that trip at all?  I guess time will tell or maybe I’ll never know.  Was I disappointed?  Of course.  I was excited to be back on the road and seeing what God has created.  But, I know that He will always do what is best for me and what will bring Him glory. 

·       Of course, there is the often quoted Romans 8:28  And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. 

·       There are many other character qualities and promises from God that would help us to process and accept disappointments in life.

2)       (2)   Live in contentment.  If we are living in contentment, we will be content with what God is doing in our lives and not looking at the “what ifs” or the “what could be” or the “I wants”, etc.   God is working in our lives to bring about what is best for us.  We often don’t see the big picture and what lies ahead.  Often this involves waiting which is hard for us.  This is from a Preston Morrison reel, “we are complaining to the One who is moving pieces, which we will never be able to see, in order for everything to come into alignment at exactly the moment our sovereign king wants it to go down.”  Keep praying about it.  Don’t give up.  And wait!

3)      (3)   Live as though you know who God says you are.  We are often disappointed in who we think we are compared to who we think we should be.  We don’t live up to our own expectations of ourselves. 

·       God intentionally created us.  Psalm 139:13-14 For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it well. 

·       God loves us and made us His child (if we believe in Him) and we will be like Him.  I John 3:1-3 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.  The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.  Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is.  And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure. 

·       You are not condemned.  Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 

·       You have a purpose.  Ephesians 2:10  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 

·       You are never alone.  Hebrews 13:5-6  Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  So, we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?

 Disappointments will continue to be a part of life.  What we do with them is what matters.  We can allow them to defeat us, affect our emotions, affect our outlook on life, affect our relationship with God and others, etc.  When we look at them through an eternal lens and God’s perspective, we can begin to see what God may be doing and pray through them.  There are many examples of life’s disappointments throughout scripture; Job, David, Joseph, Daniel, Mary and Martha, several women who wanted children, etc.  There is a whole book of Lamentations.  Use these examples to strengthen your faith and give you guidance to living with disappointment.

 Caveat:  I realize that there are some disappointments that occur in our lives that are caused by people with whom we have a relationship.  Often, they are hurtful and devastating.  Sometimes they are out of our control to do anything about them.  That is a whole other topic that I am not going to get into today.  Sometimes those need to be addressed in a “Trauma Healing” workshop or in a professional setting.  Don’t be afraid to use those tools to work through those experiences.